Airports: A Playground for People Watchers.

I'm a self-proclaimed creep, but I present the behavior to back up that claim. I'm sitting at the Idaho Falls Airport waiting to board my flight into Denver. FYI - I've been to grocery stores bigger than this airport. It's a joke compared to Denver International or the San Francisco Airport, but any airport is a good airport in my opinion. Why? I can people watch like nobody's business. I'm pretty much the NSA with how observant I am. I notice everything. My facial expressions are the Edward Snowden of my creepiness, though, as they give away my thoughts exactly. I'm an open book, whether or not I like it.

I wish I had paper and a pen because then I would sketch all the going-ons around me for all to see. Unfortunately, I don't, and even more unfortunately, I won't take photos because that is too creepy, even for me. A girl has got to have some boundaries.

There's a young man and his wife sitting next to me - both students at BYU-Idaho. The first thing the husband said as he sat down was "awesome! They have Wifi! Now we can start on the same level! This is the best! Dr. Mario, here we come." That's both the happiest and the saddest thing I have ever heard. Happiest because I think Dr. Mario is an excellent game. Saddest - really? If that's the best part of his day, someone needs to show that boy what a good day is.

There's a woman sitting to my right who looks like a wanna-be Kim Kardashian. We'll call her Tammy. She's a mother of four, and she was telling her mother, whom she is flying with, that her best friend is concerned that Tammy's husband has schizophrenia. Tammy then went on to say "I don't know what she's talking about. She said she thinks it's the kind that gets better with age. For heaven's sake - the man's 38! I don't think it's getting any better!" Tammy also owns a hair salon. She is frustrated because one of her employees was just put on probation with assault charges yet they are still sending her to work. Tammy says her main complaint is that the girl keeps telling customers. Um. Hey, Tammy. My main complaint there is that you're giving someone who has proven to be violent scissors and a free pass to someone's arteries as they sit trapped in a chair. Really, Tam-Tam? Really? Tammy is also expressing frustration because said girl wastes hair color since she doesn't use a color chart. Tammy said she would fire her, but the girl cuts the "hottest layers you've ever seen." I'll bet. 

That's it for now. I'm boarding soon. Pft. As if I wan't bored enough already. Oh, homophones. you never fail to disappoint.

-B

A Chortle a Day Keeps the Men Away

 Funny stories from the Miller household. 

       

            “He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad.”

                           ― Rafael Sabatini

            My youngest sister, Lily, is amazing, Easily the most gifted comedian I have ever met, but she doesn’t even realize it. She’s a quiet gal, but everything she says is perfect. Once, at the dinner table, My parents called my sister, Erika, a freak. Lily, who was spooning peas into her mouth, quietly said “she’s super freaky, yeowwww.”  Before putting the spoon into her mouth.

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            Erika, (younger,) Alyssa, (older,) and myself would take the baby’s diapers, (Lily,) and wear clean ones on our heads. We then would take the dirty ones and launch them at each other with homemade devices in our large office. We were lonely kids.

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            Alyssa and I began a ‘Jazz Club’ in our playroom. We turned off all of the lights, but had a few lamps in the room turned on. We covered them with colorful scarves to give ‘the look’, you know? We wore Newsboy caps and fluffy scarf dresses. We decided one night that we needed refreshments. We soaked bread in water and then put that bread on the desk that lit up from beneath. It never cooked the rolls.

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            In Oahu, Hawaii, my father, Alyssa and I all went to go feed Sting Rays. The Sting Rays were trained to flop on your back for a ‘kiss’. As I was feeding squid to one ray, another flopped on my back pushing me face first into the handful of squid I had. Good one, Sting.

Dream on.

This is about what goes on in my subconscious. You're welcome.