How to Properly Argue with a Juggler

              Contrary to the title, this is not a "how to" guide. Let me set the scene: I was walking through the MC on campus to attend a meeting to prepare a presentation. Some juggler began to follow close behind me, chanting "juggle, juggle, juggle, juggle". I was kind of wigged out by him, so I did my best to ignore him. After I had ascended the stairs to the Crossroads, I thought I was free of all tag-along wannabe carnival stars. 

               About an half hour later, I'm sitting with my presentation group and we are discussing how to properly convey the importance of diction when all of the sudden, here comes juggle boy singing "I knew you were juggling when you walked innnnn" and other assorted pop songs made to be about juggling. I gained respect for him as he juggled because he was a juggling superstar. Our table began to talk to him and ask him questions about juggling. He took this as his opportunity to prove to us that he was 'funny'. (He really wasn't. He was trying too hard. Comedy should be effortless. If it's not, then it won't be funny. That's part of my spiel denouncing most stand-up comedy,  but I don't have time to go into that.)

                But then it happened. 

                He said to us "I bet you've never read your scriptures..." Now, I LOVE my scriptures and study them on a daily basis, but juggle boy didn't know that. Jokingly, I said "woooow. I'm offended."Juggle boy then took it upon himself to quote the great Brigham Young, saying “He who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool, and he who takes offense when offense is intended is a greater fool.” Obviously, juggle boy never learned the art of interpreting sarcasm at clown college. 

           I then whipped a scriptural grenade out of my arsenal and pulled the pin. "Proverbs 21:19," I said, "it is better to dwell in the wilderness than with an angry and contentious woman."

            Juggle boy then got the hint and sheepishly said " I think it's best I go now". I politely said "thank you!" Juggle boy then said "for what? Going away?" I actually was sincerely thanking him for the juggle show, but leaving was an added bonus. 

Moral of the story: There really isn't one, but I thought this was relatively entertaining.

-B