Cue Verdi's Requiem, Dies Irae

              Today I will be sharing with you a story of suspense, horror, and even MURDER. It all started on a stormy night...

                My older sister, Alyssa, and I were in our basement movie room watching the scariest show on television - River Monsters. She was sitting with her back to the window, and I was on the couch opposite. We had just watched our first, (and last...) scary movie, A Haunting in Connecticut, a few nights before. Needless to say, our senses were at an all time high. Every little sound became cause for hysterics. Some people laugh when I say this because they think this movie is "weak". Well, I thought Gremlins was terrifying, so put that in your back pocket. 

               As an especially gory scene in River Monsters came onto the screen, I opted to look out the window. Much to my surprise, and terror, a MAN was climbing out of our window well. Now, Alyssa and I were home alone. I thought knew we were going to die that night.

Down these stairs was the movie room. The
 glass door is on the right side of this photo, but it is out of frame.

              I somehow managed to keep my cool as I told Alyssa "someone just climbed out of our window well..." Being the casual prankster in our family, Alyssa laughed it off and told me to "shut up". I told her again, this time more urgently, and Alyssa throws a pillow and yells "YOU LAZY BUTT! WHY ARE YOU WATCHING TV AT A TIME LIKE THIS???" She then runs out the door  and yells at me to come along.

              I had been released from the hospital for Swine Flu/Pneumonia complications a week before, so I was a sick mess. I hadn't eaten all day, and I was feeling it. As she's running up the stairs, she's telling me of her plan to get in our car and leave the killer in our yard all alone. I am far behind, clinging to the railing for support and struggling to make it to the top. I shout up to her, "can I make some bacon before we leave?" Alyssa's response was the same as her initial outburst: "HOW CAN YOU THINK ABOUT BACON AT A TIME LIKE THIS?" Sistah, it's always time to think about bacon.

Our Foyer

              Alyssa grabs her car keys, and pops down on the stairs and begins tying her shoes like a mad woman. I was on the phone with my dad while standing near the front door. Our conversation went like this:

D - "Hello?"

B- "Super funny, dad."

D- "What are you talking about?"

B- "Hiding in the window well..."

D- "Brynne, I'm in Denver."        

              We lived about 20 minutes from Denver at the time. It wasn't my dad in the window well. My heart fell into my kidneys. Now, here comes one of the few cinematic moments I have had in my lifetime: From where I was standing, I could see the glass doors which led onto the deck. Lightning flashed, and there was a man in a long coat, hunched over, staring at us through the window. 

             Alyssa screams and throws her keys. I scream and throw my phone. We are soon huddled together shrieking when all of the sudden, the man waves and our motion sensor lights turn on illuminating our killer. Alyssa and I stop screaming and take a moment to figure out who this man was. Neither of us know him, but he started knocking on the door. Alyssa tells me that I have to go talk to him because she has 'stuff' to be doing. Glad to know she was willing to sacrifice me. That's true sisterly love. It's one thing to sacrifice yourself for others, but another to sacrifice others for yourself.

Here you can see the glass back door in question.

             As said before, I'm really ill, so as I am walking, I am pulling tissues out of my nose and trying to smooth my bed-head. I crack the door no more than an inch and shakily say through it to the perp, "can I help you?"

            Our murderer went on to explain that he was the exterminator (it's 8 o'clock at night...) and he rang the door bell a lot of times, but no one answered, so he went in the backyard (since that's what normal people do...). He said he saw us watching TV and tried to get our attention through the window, (sure you were, creep.). He then went on to say that he was looking for the wasps' nest my mother had called in about (more like pretty little girls to steal).

            Even with this explanation, I still didn't trust him. I told him he scared the C-R-A-P out of us, and if my mom called, he should ask her. And with that, I closed the door and the curtains, and then braced myself against the wall to take a few deep breaths.

                                                      ******************************
       
             Several days later, I was not as sick and had returned to school. I was walking up to my house when I passed in front of an exterminator truck. Who should I see but our friendly murderer waving at me through the windshield?


                  I did not wave back.

             If you haven't figured it out, it was not our murder, but that of the wasps. That's the only kind of murder I condone.

             Lesson learned: not all men hiding in your window well are there to kill you - sometimes they want to kill things for you. 


-B